The headteacher of our parish primary school recently attended a conference at which most other headteachers came from secular schools. At one point they broke into groups. Everyone had to come up with a word which summarised what their school was all about. Others chose “respect”, “tolerance” and “diversity” – all very well, of course, when properly understood with a proper basis.
Our headteacher, however, offered the word “love”. The next task was to select from all the words put forward those which the group as a whole agreed with. Our headteacher was surprised and perplexed that “love” didn’t feature on anyone else’s list. She asked why. The answers she received are indicative of where our society is today.
Someone told her they couldn’t have “love” because as a word it is too vague. You can’t picture what loves would look like in practice. That person received a rapid and robust reply. They were told that, if they wanted to see what love looked like in practice, they should visit Good Shepherd School.
After seven years in the parish, I wholeheartedly endorse that answer. Love is practical and tangible in our school – precisely because love became practical and tangible on earth 2,000 years ago. Our school puts into practice what is at the heart of our faith. It seeks to make visible the love of God.
Of course it is possible to picture love. Love is the Nativity, the Person in the Crib. There’s nothing vague about this. It smells of manure and damp straw. It looks like the breath of animals in the frosty air, a flickering flame in a dark stable. It sounds like the cry of a newly-born baby. It feels like the arms of a new mother gentling cradling her child. This is practical, earthy stuff. The angel tells the shepherds exactly what love looks like: “a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger”.
“God is love” [1 John 4:8]. Not God loves. This isn’t just something He does. God is love. Love is His essence; it is Who He is. He is perfect love, wanting what is best for the other, doing something about it in a way that is utterly selfless. No “ifs” or “buts” – just unconditional, undying love. This is how Father, Son and Holy Spirit relate to one another.
This love is so overwhelming that it doesn’t remain trapped within the heart of God. It is poured out on us humans, who need it so much. “He sacrificed Himself for us in order to set us free.” Laying aside His power and glory, He chose to be born in our messy world that we might receive through the Christ Child a share in the very life of God. In Bethlehem “the kindness and love of God our Saviour for mankind were revealed”.
The headteachers had another objection to the word “love”. They argued you couldn’t use the word “love” about a school because it is a “trigger word”. What they meant is that using the word “love” will produce strong, and potentially negative, reactions in some children. Some children may feel that no one loves them, or that they themselves are incapable of loving others.
It is a reaction to be taken very seriously. But the answer isn’t to avoid talking about love. The answer is to show children what real love looks like in practice. Take them to the Crib. Let them see the wonder and the beauty and the mystery. Explain that God loves them so much that Jesus became this small and this vulnerable for their sake. He had no ulterior motive.
He loves them with the purest of love; and, experiencing this love, we are capable of loving in return. This is what we are made for. We cannot withdraw the word and the practice of love from children. We must allow them to see that love is made real here and now, and that responding to this love of God men and women down the ages have made the world a better and a more loving place.
The poet Christina Rosetti recognised this when she wrote: “Love came down at Christmas.” Can we see love? Yes, look at the Child in the Crib. Look at His Mother. This is what love is. Doing whatever is necessary for the good of the other, and not counting the cost to ourselves.
Can we see love? Yes, not just in a stable 2,000 years ago, but today here and now in schools and homes and families and charities where disciples of that Child live their lives as He asks and receive the strength to do it by receiving from Him in prayer and in the sacraments. “Love came down at Christmas.”
That is what we celebrate now.
This homily was preached at the Church of the Holy Ghost & St Stephen, Shepherd’s Bush, West London, at Midnight Mass on Christmas Day 2022
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