Saint Monica was perhaps the ultimate pushy parent and helicopter mother before helicopter mothering became the norm. The difference between St Monica, mother of wayward son, late converter and Father of the Church Saint Augustine, is that not only did she desire her talented son to have a great education, but she also wanted him to know God. St Monica deserves to be remembered this International Women’s Day.
Today’s parents often want professional success above all things for their children, but St Monica wanted her son to turn away from his lazy, indulgent life to convert to Christianity and live a Christian life. Monica was born in 331 and lived in Algeria when it was part of the Roman Empire. It was legal for her to follow Jesus, but in truth it was difficult as she was married to a very difficult man, Patricius.
Monica suffered greatly as wife to Patricius who had a bad temper and a love of women who were not his wife. Together they had three children, Augustine, Navigius and Perpetua. Monica prayed for all her family, and eventually her husband and younger two children converted to Christianity, but Augustine did not.
Monica prayed for Augustine’s conversion for 17 years, and through all those years she never gave up. No wonder then that she is not only the patron saint of mothers to wayward children and hard marriages, but is also said to be the patron saint of patience. But Monica did not only pray for her son, she also attempted to be physically near him, knowing perhaps that he led a sinful life.
When Augustine was preparing to sail for Italy from the port at Carthage, he was surprised to learn that his mother intended to travel with him. Augustine wanted to avoid his mother so he deceived her about the ship’s departure time and escaped without her. However, Monica did not give up.
She later followed him to Rome only to find that he had moved on. Monica then followed Augustine to Milan, found him, and moved in with him and his friends. It is no wonder that Augustine wrote: “She liked to have me with her, as mothers do, but far more than most mothers.”
This I believe is an example to all mothers. Although children need time and space to develop into adulthood, they also need close parental guidance. If you do not influence your child, some other nefarious influence will take your place.
Even when Augustine was caught up with heretical sects, Monica never gave up on her son. She became friends with the Bishop of Milan, St Ambrose, who once comforted a distraught and tearful Monica, saying: “The son of these tears of yours shall not perish!”
Eventually Monica’s prayers and fasting bore fruit. St Ambrose led Augustine to convert to the Christian faith. Augustine was baptised shortly before her death, but not before they had spent peace-filled, joyous days together, discussing the mysteries of God, whom they loved so much.
The secular International Women’s Day is usually dominated by discussions about gender gaps in everything from the military to pensions, and these are important issues. But we should always remember the rewarding yet often very difficult roles that most women will have- that of wife and mother.
St Monica reminds us that along with the moments of joy and laughter, motherhood means enduring much pain and suffering. But through prayer, even the most wayward children can become close to God. It is possible to transform the most difficult child with devotion and patience. St Monica inspires us to both.
(St Monica and St Augustine of Hippo | Wikimedia Commons)
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