The humble Scotch egg has this week become the posterboy for the British government’s unending incompetence in the face of the Covid-19 pandemic.
Surprising though it may be, this unassuming snack has fallen foul of fate, whose hand has plucked it from the back of the fridge to the forefront of every newspaper in the land. Why? Why indeed. As England began to reopen following its second national lockdown, localities were classified according to three tiers: the first being in areas thought to have the greatest R (infection) rate, the second being those with fewer number of infections – some very, very low indeed – but thought to still necessitate governmental restrictions. The third, some 1.3% of the population, in Tier 1 which is alarmingly define as “medium alert”. Tier 2 is “high alert” and those in Tier 3 are in the “very high alert” category.
As with all pawns in political chess, the poor Scotch egg’s position is not worthy of nation-wide interest but only to those in Tier 2. It is in these areas that pubs are permitted to reopen but only providing that they serve customers a “substantial meal” alongside their drinks. As with so much of the jargon that we have been victim to over the last nine months (“necessary travel”), “substantial meal” is open to interpretation and Downing Street has failed to explain the term.
Enter the Scotch egg.
A couple of Scotch eggs is a starter as far as I’m concerned. – Michael Gove MP
Last Monday, environment minister George Eustice said that Scotch eggs “probably would count” as a substantial meal in Tier 2 areas. A few days later his colleague Michael Gove told the Good Morning Britain television programme “a couple of Scotch eggs is a starter as far as I’m concerned” before telling a news broadcaster that his own “preference when it comes to a substantial meal might be more than just a Scotch egg, but that’s because I’m a hearty trenchman”. Jacob Rees-Mogg, Leader of the House of Commons, was reported to have said that the egg of an elephant bird (now extinct) covered in breadcrumbs would definitely classify as a substantial meal. Health Minister Matt Hancock, nicknamed “Door Matt” over his handling of the pandemic, gave us a typically noncommittal response in saying “a Scotch egg that is served as a substantial meal – that is a substantial meal.”
The Scotch egg, which has been claimed by the North Africans, the Indians and the Yorkshiremen – all of whom have similar recipes – but never by the Scots, is thought to have entered British life in the eighteenth century. There are many variations (for example, the Indian way is to wrap a boiled egg inside a shell of ground and spiced lamb mix) but these do not seem to be of interest to our politicians, who have instead worried themselves about definition rather than taste.
While the biggies battle it out over whether one egg is an oeuf to constitute a “substantial meal”, people are hungry.
In her book With Bold Knife and Fork, food writer M.F.K Fisher wrote “it is hard for me to write much less than a small book about the egg”. And it would appear that the British Constitution is adopting the same approach.
Meanwhile, we hurtle towards a No-Deal Brexit, the exams system is crumbling and the economy is collapsing. While the biggies battle it out over whether one egg is an oeuf to constitute a “substantial meal”, people are hungry. Don’t let children starve this Christmas: https://fareshare.org.uk/.
Constance Watson is assistant editor at the Catholic Herald. She also contributes to the Spectator, Standpoint, Literary Review, the Daily Telegraph and others.
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