Much has been the carping about the government’s new “Rule of Six”.
And, indeed, it is absurd. Poorly thought out and, apparently, utterly randomly chosen, the rule of six prohibits people from gathering in groups larger than this (in theory, to prevent the spread of Covid-19) – even if their family itself numbers more. Visiting a pub recently, some friends with five children were told to leave, as their group was seven in total. This is despite the pub being full of strangers. There are some, laughable, exceptions to the rule, which have given rise to many memes. “Stay inside! Unless you’re spending money” seems to be the message – or unless you’re hunting or shooting, as these sports (unlike all others) are somehow exempt from the rule.
But we must think positively, in these troubled times, and for one group the rule of six is a Godsend: dinner party hosts.
In the twentieth century, Carson McCullers met Marilyn Monroe, Arthur Miller and Karen Blixen (AKA Isak Dinesen) at an intimate dinner. “After the oysters and champagne,” according to McCullers’ biographer, “Carson reportedly put music on the phonograph and invited Miss Monroe and Miss Dinesen to join her in dancing on the marble-topped dining-room table.” And a meeting of four of history’s greatest minds – James Joyce, Igor Stravisnky, Pablo Picasso and Marcel Proust – was at a gathering where only two others were present.
A meeting of four of history’s greatest minds – James Joyce, Igor Stravisnky, Pablo Picasso and Marcel Proust – was at a gathering where only two others were present.
For six has always been the perfect number for a dinner party. It just makes perfect sense. Six is enough people to feel like a party, to be worth making an effort for, to make sure the conversation flows. With six around a table, you can make the talk general, and everyone will be able to hear one another, or section off into splinter groups of chat. Six is enough that the couple hosting can sit at opposite ends of the table and have the buffer of two whole humans between them on either side, and other couples can be satisfactorily separated from their spouses, too.
But why invite couples at all? The rule of six is the perfect opportunity to not bother asking that friend’s partner you’ve never been sure about – “darling, we’d love to have you, but I’m afraid we just can’t have Matthew this time. Rule of six, you know…” It’s the ideal chance to see your real friends, without the encumbrance of the dull boyfriends and girlfriends and husbands and wives you usually feel you are obliged to invite. And it gives your guests a chance to vent, in private, about said partner and the hell of being locked down (or up, as the case may be) with them for the past six months. There are few better saviours of a marriage than the chance to complain about your spouse.
The rule of six is the perfect opportunity to not bother asking that friend’s partner you’ve never been sure about – “darling, we’d love to have you, but I’m afraid we just can’t have Matthew this time. Rule of six, you know…”
And children are definitely out: no one wants their precious six being taken up with screaming toddlers and precocious eight year olds (with apologies to our Scottish readers, for whom the rule of six includes unlimited under-12s.) No more shoving a tray of fish-fingers into the oven along with the blinis, or baked beans taking up valuable hob space. No siree.
Speaking of food, the rule of six is ideal for catering, too. How many can a large chicken feed? Six. How many eggs in an egg box? Six. How many bottles of wine in a Rehoboam? Six. This last point is facetious, but the point remains: beer comes in six-packs, as do most soft drinks; wine comes in cases of twelve – easily divisible into two, unless your guests are heavy drinkers, in which case, perfect.
Six people can fit around the average kitchen table where eight would be a squeeze. Six people means one or two can help the host with the serving or clearing up, leaving another three or four to chat, without feeling abandoned. Best of all, with six people, when two leave, it is a clear signal that the party is over. With large groups, guests can get overexcited and outstay their welcome; but with six, there’s no doubt about when the gathering breaks up.
So, long live the rule of six. Unless four would be even better?
Violet Hudson is a freelance journalist. She contributes toThe Spectator, Standpoint and the Catholic Herald.
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