One of the many things we will miss about former FLOTUS Melania Trump is her dedicated refusal to hold her husband’s hand.
Melania’s seeming dismissal of her husband’s grip caused so much excitement that it was labelled “The Resistance”. One example was in August last year when the then President and his wife climbed down the steps of the Air Force One aircraft. Observers will see that Trump reaches for his wife’s hand twice and on both occasions she appears to move her wrists away from his fingers.
“She really, really doesn’t like him”, tweeted political writer Brian Tyler Cohen. “She’s voting for Biden” wrote comedian Derek DelGaudio. The awkward exchange went viral and, naturally, was made into a meme that was shared across cyberspace.
Melania’s seeming dismissal of her husband’s grip caused so much excitement that it was labelled “The Resistance”
The more astute spectator will note the billowing gusts of wind that met the couple as they descended the stairs and conclude that in all likelihood, Mrs Trump was attempting to prevent her skirts from flailing in the extreme weather. But that would not make the headlines. Nor would it support the smear story that the Trumps’ marriage was only for show, that they lived separate lives, and that the moment Trump’s presidency ended, Mrs Trump would surely scarper.
Judging by the Bidens’ displays at the Inauguration, in this presidency there will be no room for questioning the state of their marriage. Even the most discerning viewer would have lost count of the number of kisses President Joe Biden and his wife exchanged throughout proceedings. They smooched here, there and everywhere. In fact, they were seldom not attached by the lip.
The majority of the couples present at the Inauguration also appeared to relish in outward displays of unity and affection: the Obamas’ devoted hand holding, Laura Bush clung to the crook of her husband’s arm – and on it goes.
Judging by the Bidens’ displays at the Inauguration, in this presidency there will be no room for questioning the state of their marriage
The press is torn between its desire to witness a happy, nuclear family in office – the beautiful Obamas, the clean-cut Camerons, both of which represented content and exemplary family life -and then, on the other hand, the press’s delight in tearing relationships down. Examples of the latter include the #FreeMelania and the #SaveMelania movements, also the British press’s thinly veiled attacks on Boris Johnson’s skills of procreation. In answer to the simple question “how many children do you have?” our Prime Minister told LBC radio “I love my children very much but they are not standing at this election”. He repeated the same sentence when asked “are you fully involved in all of their lives?”
So what is it we want to see? Are we about to bear witness to four years of geriatric snogging in the White House? Does it comfort us to live in the belief that our leaders are members of “strong” marriages? Does a seemingly solid marriage reassure us that our leaders are also resolute, robust, and that their skills in relationship participation are reflective in their skills of running nations?
One thing is for sure – Melania didn’t care about what the world thought about her marriage, and neither should we. Her relationship was hers and Donald’s alone. As the saying goes, you never know what goes on behind closed doors. A relationship is sacred, between two people alone – and no amount of Public Displays of Affection can alter that fact.
Constance Watson is assistant editor of the Catholic Herald. She also writes for the Daily Mail, The Spectator, Literary Review and more.
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