The first thing to remember about being a Catholic mother of Catholic children in a Catholic school is that there are no outsiders. In other words, those families who attend Catholic schools can be orthodox Catholics or what I call “cultural Catholics”.
Cultural Catholics may go to Mass, their children may receive the sacraments, but they may not actually believe in the teachings of the faith.
Orthodox Catholics believe the doctrines of the church and try to live by its teachings on issues such as abortion and marriage.
As such, do not assume that all parents who send their children to Catholic schools follow and support the teachings of the Church – some will not.
If a child attends a state Catholic school, especially an oversubscribed Catholic school, the family should be weekly Mass attendees as this is a requirement for most oversubscribed Catholic schools in my experience. Requirements for private Catholic schools can, counterintuitively, be less stringent.
Although I have no experience of non-Catholic schools, I believe an education at a Catholic school is unique. Catholic schools have a special atmosphere and for the most part educate children in line with Catholic values. They are welcoming, caring places expecting high standards both in terms of behaviour as well as educational attainment. Mass is said in some schools and in some schools the children are prepared for the Sacraments, although preparation classes usually take place outside school hours.
In my experience, Catholic schools, especially those in London, are racially diverse so the children learn about other cultures too.
Families are very supportive of each other, and once you join the class WhatsApp group, be prepared for your life to change forever. Like most schools, the Parent-Teacher Association (PTA) is there to round up support, badger you for cakes for the cake sale, and bring in cold, hard cash. These former lawyers, health professionals, administrators and accountants know how to get the job done – especially if that means getting a London Fire Brigade to bring one of their engines to the school fair.
They can be a clique. I saluted my PTA ladies, who were usually gathered outside the school gates, with the greeting of “Morning, mafia”. They knew what I meant, although this was an unfair comparison as the mafia is a lot less organised than the PTA.
A word of warning however for those orthodox Catholic families who do not want their children indoctrinated with woke, leftist or LGBTQ+ ideology – I encourage vigilance. State schools live in fear of an Ofsted inspection and private schools live in fear of an ISI inspection. If these bodies are pushing ideologies that are contrary to Catholic teaching it can be hard to resist.
Currently both inspection bodies are obsessed with equality, diversity and inclusion, which is the new Holy Trinity of all public bodies. As such, material which is clearly not suitable for children and/or is contrary to Catholic teaching sometimes slips in under the guise of encouraging equality, diversity and inclusion.
If you think your school is encouraging political or ideological views that go against Catholic teaching, the most important thing is to raise it with the school first, in the usual calm and measured way. Do not assume another parent will. Do not bury your head in the sand. If it bothers you, be prepared to fight against state indoctrination of children, which can start as early as primary school.
A few years ago our primary Catholic school decided to introduce a gender-neutral uniform policy, without consulting parents. Although there was no change to the actual uniform, it would have been possible for boys to start wearing a girl’s uniform. This caused us great concern especially as it was done without any discussion. After making our views known to the school we ultimately decided to withdraw our children. As a governor at a different Catholic school, I have had to point out that the possible introduction of LGBTQ+ groups is utterly contrary to Catholic teaching and divisive, particularly given how toxic the transgender debate has become.
When it comes to the education of your children there is no point in being part of the silent majority who are just that – silent and therefore ignored. If you are silent then there is no reason to listen to you or care about your views. So if something bothers you and it is not a minor issue, you must raise it for the good of your children.
All in all, our experience of Catholic primary schools, both state and private, has been a good one. We have made lifelong friends, the children have been enriched in their spiritual life and encouraged in their academic life. I believe our lives would be much poorer if we did not commit our children to a Catholic education.
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